I’ve never had an issue with the way that I dress. In fact I’ve always been conscious of choosing the right clothing for my body type, as its important to portray your physique in a flattering light. When I entered my forties I didn’t think it was necessary to change my style of dress, because everything I’d worn thus this far had looked good on me.

In the summer of 2015 my friend had come to Paris to visit me, along with her eleven year old daughter in tow. One afternoon on one of our many shopping expeditions, her daughter turned to me and said, “Aunty, you look like your eighteen!”

I was floored. An eleven year old just told me (a then forty year old) that I looked eighteen. I knew straight away that she was referring to the way I was dressed. I immediately looked at my friend who was dressed in drab colors like somebody’s grandmother, and thought to myself “this could never be me.”

When I think about it, every fashion ad (or any ad period) that markets to women over forty, always shows an older women conservatively and badly dressed. If I walk into a shop and see women in my age group I immediately turn around and leave, because the fashion they’re gravitating towards isn’t in my league. I have always shopped in stores that market a “youthful image”.

So is “age appropriate” fashion a thing of the past? Is there a certain dress code that women over forty must prescribe to?  

I definitely think that in today’s world women do not only look younger, but they are thinking and acting younger. Gone are the days that being forty was a death sentence! Now you hear people say, “forties are the new thirties.”

But does it really matter what you wear?  I personally believe that as long as the clothing looks good on you, and you have the physique to carry it then by all means go ahead. Youth  is a feeling, and fashion is an expression of that feeling. So if you’re forty nine and still want to wear that leopard coat, then wear it! 

There have been so many societal limitations put on women in midlife. I think that fashion shouldn’t be one of them. Fashion is the freedom to creatively express your inner self. And as women, if we can no longer express our inner selves then we die.

Wearing whatever you want is a freedom of expression. I encourage all women over forty to live their best lives. Continue to create, express, grow…and be 100% fashionably you!

The last couple of weeks have been interesting to say the least. The buzz around town is that 40+ women are becoming more vocal about ageism. Hollywood A-listers are ditching their dye jobs in favor of silver tresses, while some have been busy creating skincare lines.    

Three weeks ago Ellen De Generes launched her skincare line, Kind Science which is all about aging positively. The sixty three year old talk show host decided to develop her own line after trying numerous  brands. De Generes said, “Kind Science isn’t about anti-aging because aging is a good thing, it shows you’ve lived a lot, learned a lot, and hopefully laughed a lot.  I want to keep laughing, just with fewer laugh lines and wrinkles!”

Andie Mac Dowell was seen sporting her grey mane on the red carpet during the 2021 Cannes Film Festival earlier this year. In a recent interview with InStyle Magazine Mac Dowell spoke candidly about her red carpet look, “I really liked my last look at the Cannes Film Festival in July, when I debuted my silver hair.  It was really important to me because my transformation helped me accept my authentic, true self.” 

The actress has been the longest serving spokesperson for the cosmetic conglomerate L’Oréal, with just over thirty five years of service.  I find it  wonderful that she is using her platform to promote age positivity, and open the door to inclusivity for 40+ women. 

In other news, Sarah Jessica Parker was spotted by paparazzi while incognito on a lunch date last week.  The internet was in an uproar, because SJP was ‘au natural’ with a head full of grey hair.  People had a hard time digesting that their beloved Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica parker) was indeed grey. 

Sarah just featured on the cover of Vogue Magazine wearing her signature blond highlights. Her new show, And Just Like That is scheduled to debut December 9, 2021 on HBO Max.  

Sarah unlike Andie Mac Dowell, had not chosen to reveal her silver locks under the watchful eye of the camera. But instead chose to go ‘au natural’ on a casual lunch date with friends.  Either way, it does not excuse the negative comments she received for her personal choices.

Too much pressure has been placed on women to remain perfect, and we are constantly placed under scrutiny. Women aren’t allowed to age, and are sometimes looked down upon because of it. I can only imagine what it must be like for women in Hollywood.  It must be extremely difficult keeping up the image of staying ‘youthful’, when your under the watchful gaze of the camera.   

I am happy that celebrities are choosing to be their authentic selves. We need more women in Hollywood to embrace aging in order to successfully change the narrative. Once more celebrities wear their silver tresses or speak out against ageism then we’ll gain more ground. And no, I’m not saying that there hasn't been any other age-positive actresses in the past.  What I am saying is that we need to normalize grey hair, wrinkles, and the aging process in general. The more women that use their platform to speak out, the better. So when Sarah Jessica Parker discreetly comes out of her home for an afternoon lunch, they’ll talk about what she's wearing as opposed to her grey hair.

As women, we've been taught that beauty is synonymous with youth. Our subconscious minds have been subliminally programmed to believe that aging is undesirable, and women expire after a certain age.  When women reach the forty plus category they are written off and  given an automatic death sentence. 

All of a sudden, in the blink of an eye we start to be cut off from the world we once new. Our faces aren’t seen in the media, goods and services are no longer marketed to us.  It’s a kind of unspoken invisibility that leaves many us in a  kind of vacuum, walking between life and death.  We’re too old to wear mini skirts but not old enough to wear Depends.

There are so many negative connotations surrounding the word aging.  A line, a wrinkle, weight gain, a bit of cellulite and grey hair are all associated with aging. It’s almost like a dirty little word that you shouldn’t say.  God forbid you dare talk about getting old! It’s the subject of conversation that everyone avoids, yet secretly dreads;  An almost taboo topic that occurs to each and every one of us. 

Many women entering their forties struggle with their emotions, and finding their place during midlife.  It can be destabilizing for some, even traumatizing. Women sometimes struggle to carve out a new path during their “journey” into midlife.  But who said that entering midlife is a “journey”? Why can’t we just continue on the same road we’ve always traveled on, and be who we’ve  always been? Why does society make it so hard for women to just be themselves?


As a woman over forty, you’re given a list of things that you can’t do. You can’t dress this way, wear this type of makeup, or do certain activities. Now we’ve become too old to do all the things we used to do. And to top it all off, there aren’t any products or services being marketed to us.  So what are we supposed to wear? What beauty brands are we supposed to buy? When you look at beauty advertisements for anti-aging products, a twenty five year old woman is always used. The beauty industry  and the media has done a fabulous job at making women over forty feel invisible.  

If I relied on the beauty industry and the media to determine my self-worth, then I’d probably be a depressed person. I’ve had to mentally assert myself  to rise above how society views women in midlife. 

When I look in the mirror I see a young woman, because I feel young.  Yes, I am aging (of course). But its about how I feel about myself.  I am young because I feel young. And there isn’t a line, wrinkle or bit of cellulite that can make me feel differently! I don’t let the media dictate how I see myself. 

I’ve always believed that you’re only as young as you feel. And if you feel good, then you’ll look good.  It’s a a very simple formula! People who feel good about themselves are happier and make better decisions, because they love themselves.  There is absolutely no reason for women to lose confidence because of a line or a wrinkle. It’s all about mindset. Entering midlife does not have to be a death sentence.

I know that it’s hard to fight against negative ideals that have been subliminally programmed  into our brains for years.  We’ve been programmed without our knowledge, and sometimes it can be difficult to fight against such indoctrination; especially when we’re looking in the mirror and the enemy we’re trying so hard to fight has become ourselves.

The real enemy is the beauty industry and all the negative marketing strategies that have been shoved down our throats. Defying years of negative indoctrination that has been subliminally programmed into our subconscious takes courage.  Living your life free of fear, takes guts.  

The beauty industry makes billions each year from fear mongering and creating insecurities. But once we step out of the shadow of fear and into the light, we’ve won the battle. I don’t think that the beauty industry would make as much money as it does if women were happier.  

I listen to women of all ethnicities in different parts of the world on a daily basis.  And quite frankly, it breaks my heart to hear women who have somehow lost their confidence and are living in fear, because they’re in midlife. A large part of my mission is to empower, celebrate, and change the way women in midlife view themselves.  There is nothing wrong with aging, it's a fact of life. Ultimately the beauty industry needs to change its approach to aging, and stop instilling fear in Gen Z and Millennials.

But first and foremost, the change begins with us. By creating positive dialogues that are centered around aging and disrupting the industry, we can eliminate the fear of entering the forty plus category.  It’s not about “anti-aging”, it’s about “pro-aging”. 
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